A curious change occurred in my sexual proclivities some years ago. It was surely not the first time I had seen a woman in a niqab, but, at that time, that particular juncture of circumstances, the sight of a woman, walking briskly in a niqab awoke something in my consciousness, the possibility of investing my desires into a particular symbol. The process is similar to the first time one begins to view pornography: amongst other things, the habit is formed due to the economy of effort required to sustain a sexual desire. The muslim woman, or the muslim girl, is just the same: a concept which represents an economy of effort in sustaining erotic imagery. Prior to this development, all of my erotic imagery was personal: it was related to people whom I actually knew, or had regular encounters with. Then came a phase of abstinence, then the concept of the muslim woman, and then the concept of the muslim girl. For the first time, the erotic idea had become associated with a broad category, rather than an individual person. This was, as I have surmised, due to unconscious considerations of economy.
The categories involved may have been different, if my circumstances had been different. As it was, I was, and still am, involved in a situation in which there are numerous occasions to see muslim women and girls. If I had been living in a Jewish neighbourhood, no doubt, I would be writing about Jewish girls, and so on. The categories which could potentially elicit erotic desire are endless, because they could be combined in countless ways – for example: Muslim girls of Indian, Gujarati descent, or Christian girls of Icelandic descent, or Navaho girls with Bostonian accents, and so on.
The question is whether there is anything more behind the curiosity than proximity. Or, another way of putting it would be whether there is some reason for the proximity, and for the attraction. The question immediately suggests a functional relation between one’s chosen and given religious, or dharmic, or philosophic path, call it what you will, and an alternative source of attraction designed, one might say, to distract one’s attention from that path. There can be no denying that the attraction is primarily sexual, and the religious element in the desire, the niqab, the hijab, or even just the subtle signs of self-identification which all muslim females display, regardless of their apparel, is also primarily sexual.
There is no doubt that muslim women wear the niqab and the hijab for very devout and pious purposes, but the effect of wearing such apparel is not devout or pious. That is not their fault, it is our fault. All the signs of religiousness which they display, and the same may be conceivably said for any religious female, awakens in the corrupted and depraved heart the intense desire to un-conceal their modesty, to ravish their chastity, and, following this the automatic reflex of utter revulsion and disgust, once they have been revealed in their commonness. Such a man is lost to himself.
But let me come back to the point of the suggestion of beauty. That indeed, is precisely what any instance of phenomenal beauty must be, only a suggestion. It can never be anything more. In Muslim women in particular, because the religion is becoming more prominent in the world, the general customs have created a powerful aura, or suggestion of beauty, and, correspondingly, of sexual enjoyment. If it is by design, then it is the design only of a higher power, as a means of proselytisation. And because the suggestion of sexual enjoyment, and the Muslim scenario offers a number of attractive, and not impossible, though outlandish, possibilities for contemplation – better not go into them here, or anywhere else – because such a suggestion is the primary engine of proselytisation, indeed, the only engine, I would say, of proselytisation, it follows that the intention behind the supernatural display of Islam is illusory, or, to put it another way, not the preferred path. It is presented, and offered, only as a means of tricking people into adopting a rigorous and limited form of religiosity by the sexual allure as a means of keeping them out of a worse kind of trouble.
Having said that, there is no doubt that the faith would confer a number of material benefits upon its followers, if not the realisation of the sexual fantasies which motivated the conversion in the first place. Indeed, the idea behind the religion would be that its practice would lift the mind of the practitioner – most commonly by the intrusion of the practical concerns of everyday life – from those sexual contemplations, at least temporarily. True transcendence of the sexual desire is another matter altogether.
I have no reason to think that a temporary distraction from the sexual imperative is impossible in Islam, or in any other faith, but, true transcendence of the sexual desire is another matter altogether. If I converted to Islam with the hope of enjoying a particular range of sexual experiences, I have no doubt that in the end, however long that may take, I would become disillusioned with the self-created promise of sexual enjoyment, and begin to cast my eyes elsewhere. This is the nature of sexual enjoyment. It does not change in the slightest because of the colour of a person’s skin, their accent, the length of their hair, or the faith which they profess. The sexual enjoyment is always the same, and the sexual disappointment, and the hope of finding a better sort of sexual fulfilment elsewhere, is also always the same. Has anyone ever seriously claimed otherwise?
So, where to from here? First, let me make a brief aside: what I have written so far just as well applies to a Muslim man, frustrated with his life, and looking over the wall at his Christian, or Jewish, or whatever kind of neighbour. So does what follows. The only solution is to discipline the mind. The mind desires what it perceives on the other side of the fence, without comprehending the essential banality of its own desires, or the basic commonness of experience which all people share. The attractive allure must be shunned, in favour of the great path which lies at our feet, the path which can be found nowhere else, and the full energies and compass of the mind must be devoted, utterly and without distraction, to taking only one more step along that great path. To hell with anything else.
There will be many other distractions, even along that path.
Fetishism Overcome 